Continuing on with the seven part series regarding happiness, this week we’re digging deeper on habit four: Altruism.

Doing good things is an essential ingredient to happiness. How we spend our time and our resources is more important then the amount of money we make. Giving to others releases endorphins and activates the part of our brain that is associated with trust, pleasure, and social connection.


So what is Altruism?

It is when we act to promote someone else’s welfare, even at a risk or cost to ourselves. It involves the unselfish concern for other people simply out of a desire to help, and not because of obligation, duty, loyalty, or religious reasons. Studies have found that a person’s first impulse is to cooperate rather than compete. This hardwired ability helped our ancestors to cooperate and survive under harsh conditions.

images-3In the Boston marathon bombings, some of the people in the crowd intuitively rushed towards recently exploded bombs. These were not people trained in being first responders, they rushed to a stranger’s aide because they knew help was needed – period. They put their own well being on hold so that they could help another who was in need. That was not only an extreme example of altruism, it was an act of selfless bravery!

“Altruism is one of the most fundamentally social impulses. Doing things for others without expecting anything in return is core to what makes us human.” – Joe Green

When we make the effort to give without expected reciprocity, we feel fulfilled and energized. Practicing altruism enhances our well-being emotionally, physically, romantically, and even financially; and it is crucial to having healthy communities.

Here’s what researchers found regarding altruism:

  • People reported a significant happiness boost after doing something kind for others. Some studies suggest that giving to others make people feel even happier than spending money on themselves. When we give, we stimulate areas of our brain associated with pleasure, trust, and social connection, thus giving ourselves a “helpers high.”
  • People who volunteer tend to feel better physically and mentally. Senior citizens who volunteer or regularly help friends and family have a significantly lower chance of dying prematurely.
  • Being altruistic helps us to find a mate. 10,000 people were surveyed within thirty-seven different cultures – all of them stated that kindness was the most important criterion for mate selection. Wow!
  • Altruism helps to fight addiction tendencies. Addicts who help others – even in minor ways, significantly improve their changes of staying sober and avoiding relapse.
  • Giving is contagious. When we give the benefactor isn’t always the individual or organization, it causes a ripple effect of generosity throughout the local community. When a person behaves generously, it inspires observes to behave generously later towards others.
  • Being altruistic makes us happier! Being altruistic supports our ability to be compassionate and to find good qualities in others. Giving to others helps us to feel grateful for our own good fortune and gives us a way to use our strengths and talents in a meaningful way. It also helps us to have an increased sense of connection and community with others, which is one of the strongest factors to increasing happiness.

“Altruism is innate, but it’s not instinctual. Everybody’s wired for it, but a switch has to be flipped.” David Rakoff

There are many ways to introduce or enhance a consistent habit of altruism that isn’t practiced only around the holiday season. Altruism can be simple things such as performing random acts of kindness or more extensive commitments of your time, health (blood/organ donation), or money.


For me I am a huge fan of performing random acts of kindness such as putting a neighbors news paper on their front porch as I walk home after a run, refilling the coffee supplies for my co-workers (even though I don’t drink coffee at work), to putting shopping carts left in the parking by others in the shopping cart corral. I’m also a financial supporter of American Cancer Society and American Heart Association. But after writing this post I can see that I can and should do so much more such as volunteer some of my time. Note to self: Do that will you? 🙂

How will you start or enhance your altruism habit?


Pay It Forward


April 30th is International Pay It Forward Day.

Do you remember the book titled: Pay It Forward by Katherine Ryan Hyde? It sparked a movie staring Kevin Spacy and Helen Hunt as well as a global thought process/movement surrounding human kindness and good deeds.

The premise of the book is about a twelve year old boy who comes up with a plan to change the world for the better. His idea is simple yet powerful.  Chose three people to perform a nice deed for. When the three people ask what can I do to repay you? Tell them there is no need to pay you back, just pay the favor forward by choosing three people for whom they can perform a good deed for and in turn telling those people to pay it forward to three more people, in essence to start a human chain of kindness and goodwill.

It’s day’s like April 30th every year that reminds us of the importance of the need to have more human kindness and compassion in the world. We don’t always think about how a small act of kindness can cause a ripple effect, even a tsunami. Think of the book (or the movie)….a man gave his sports car away to someone in need because he was paying it forward. What a world it would be if we took care of each other to this level of human need! There could be an end to the lack of loneliness and human connection in the world. Wow..WOW!

So here’s what I’m wondering……what holds us back from being more kind?  Why don’t we smile at strangers more often?  Open or hold a door open for others? Let people merge into our lane? Provide an offer of help when someone is struggling?

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill

What if we could let go of wanting to know if our specific act of kindness and/or good deed actually made an effect on the recipient? I remember in the book, Trevor felt his good deeds didn’t actually do any good. Do we really need the affirmation every time we go out of our way to be kind? If we do…I wonder…if it may not be kindness we are practicing.


I had an experience with a former boss a year ago….He found a $20 bill with a post-it-note attached in the parking lot. The note said: Do good. It was surreal – he wondered if someone was watching him. What was he to do with the money? Do good…Do good….with $20 bucks? Hum….He wanted to do the right thing but struggled as to what that was. To this day I’m not sure what he did with the money but knowing him he found something to do good with it.

The person who left the money in the parking lot couldn’t have affirmation of their random act of kindness – they did it just to pay it forward to give good into the world with no strings attached.

In case you have an interest in paying it forward and performing more random acts of kindness….here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:9bd24ba0df3185840ca2b46f2779bba2



In honor of International Pay It Forward Day….I pledge to remember everyday to be kind to others and to perform good deeds whenever I can.