Stories provide rationale for what’s going on and are our interpretations of the facts. They help explain what we see and hear. They are theories we use to explain why, how, and what.
As we come up with our stories, it isn’t long until our body responds with strong feelings or emotions which, are directly linked to our judgments of right/wrong, good/bad, kind/selfish, fair/unfair, etc..
Unfortunately, most people don’t change their stories of others often – they keep them even when incorrect perceptions and/or assumptions created them.
Here’s a depiction of the progression of our thinking:
We see and hear what someone is saying, without knowing we fill in more information from a story we’ve created about that person, we attach a feeling (emotion), and then we respond or act.
So How Can We Come Up With Different Stories?
Have you ever held a conversation in your mind where you reviewed something from all angles, for example, asking your boss for a raise? As you picture the meeting, you feel your heart racing, you start to sweat, you think about every rebuttal possible so that you’ll be ready with strong examples as to why you are deserving.
How about playing and re-playing having that difficult conversation you’ve been postponing in your head? “If she says that, I’ll say this!” reviewing all possible angles in hopes that the conversation will be less stressful.
What you’ve been doing and physiologically experiencing is called Jouska.