These experiences plant the seeds of failure, rejection, betrayal – and shame.
You help these seeds to grow by avoiding putting yourself into vulnerable situations. You don’t want to see the evidence of just how imperfect, flawed, and “not good enough” you are.
You can choose to stay hidden in the china cabinet, behind the crystal champagne glasses because you fear the next potential exposure to a chip, crack, or break. You can reject bitter experiences and failures, to hope and wish them away, to live an alter ego and wear disguises of false personas, and you can choose distracting behaviors by numbing, busyness, exhaustion, and believe that productivity is your self-worth.
Or, you can choose to see your experiences, flaws, mistakes, and failures for what they are – creators of your golden seams and silver scars.
When you crack, chip and break, it’s the glue you choose to use to put yourself back together which will make you either stronger or it will weaken your core being.
We are all broken in some way. We are perfectly imperfect, quirky and unique. Remembering this helps tap into the understanding that we are all human. We all sometimes stumble and fall. What’s important is that you use quality fillers to mend yourself back together.
Have you heard of the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery called Kintsukuroi? (Pronounced Kin-tsU-kU-roy.) In this process of mending, lacquered resin is dusted or mixed with powered gold or silver to repair cracks and breaks, making the pottery stronger and more beautiful than it was before.
I use Kintsukuroi as an analogy to remind me that my emotional breakage and repair becomes part of my history that will strengthen me rather disguise my former self.
“Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen.
To apply Kintsukuroi to your life, you need to choose a filler to mend your cracks and breaks. If you choose to perfect, to hide, to ignore your mistakes and life’s lessons you choose a faulty filler that will make you feel heavy and weaker.
Remember that life’s experiences don’t have to define you. Instead let them influence you. Apply a positive filler by deciding to be self-compassionate, to embrace your failures, stumbles and breaks as learning opportunities. Let them shape you into a stronger, more resilient, and beautiful person.
Apply the concepts of Kintsukuroi and share your beautifully perfectly imperfect self with others and watch the magic of deep connections through love and acceptance unfold.