In today’s fast-moving world, you are under pressure to act swiftly rather than spend time understanding the facts and reasoning things through. Not only can this lead to incorrect conclusions, it can also cause conflict with others who may have drawn different conclusions.
One of the downfalls of living in a society which stresses the ethic of independence and individual achievement is that if we don’t reach our ideal goals, we feel we need to beat ourselves senseless. We believe this strong and relentless self-criticism will make us a stronger, better, and more resilient person……right?
So what really happens when we enter down this path of thinking?
During the American Thanksgiving holiday, many bloggers and reporters share their thoughts on the importance of gratitude. I find this encouraging, because the power of gratitude is reviewed with a larger population, and slightly frustrating because most posts and online articles review only saying thanks or the meaning behind this holiday.
Stories provide rationale for what’s going on and are our interpretations of the facts. They help explain what we see and hear. They are theories we use to explain why, how, and what.
As we come up with our stories, it isn’t long until our body responds with strong feelings or emotions which, are directly linked to our judgments of right/wrong, good/bad, kind/selfish, fair/unfair, etc..
Unfortunately, most people don’t change their stories of others often – they keep them even when incorrect perceptions and/or assumptions created them.
Here’s a depiction of the progression of our thinking:
So How Can We Come Up With Different Stories?
Have you ever held a conversation in your mind where you reviewed something from all angles, for example, asking your boss for a raise? As you picture the meeting, you feel your heart racing, you start to sweat, you think about every rebuttal possible so that you’ll be ready with strong examples as to why you are deserving.
How about playing and re-playing having that difficult conversation you’ve been postponing in your head? “If she says that, I’ll say this!” reviewing all possible angles in hopes that the conversation will be less stressful.
What you’ve been doing and physiologically experiencing is called Jouska.